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When I find out all of the lies my guy roommate has been telling us:

Caught him hitting the dog because she ATE FOOD OFF THE FLOOR:

Like, seriously, you left food on the floor, you piece of turd:

He gets fired from two different jobs for alcohol (and some other crazy stuff like threats):

The he tells me he might have to move back home if he can’t find a new job:

And then he serves my co-workers and me at lunch today, and I’m like:

Because he shouldn’t have been able to get another job in the county and The Boy and I would’ve gotten his room too:

At the local bakery and there are fresh sticky buns

And I’m all up on the glass making sure they know which one I want like:

When my students aren’t doing what they’re supposed to

Im like

And i look at them all disappointed like